Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy, Happy, Happy ...

We all wish each other a happy Christmas, New Year and who knows what else. Do we really care? I don't know anymore.
I'm miserable and there's nothing happy about the new year to me. Yes, I know... I have so many things to be grateful for, but I don't want to go through life being grateful for the stuff that already happened. I want to look forward to something. I don't see anything right now.

I want to sleep. And I can't.
I want to get as drunk as hell and forget about it. And I can't.

The worst things that can happen to me look so good right now. No wonder there's so much depression all over the world. And shooting in a mall in Finland. Well, there you have it.

Happy New Year.

Here are my new year's solutions:
*I'm gonna get fatter.
*I'm gonna get one year older.
*I'm gonna get my heart broken again.

Can't wait.

I'm really sorry if this post brings you down. It's just something I had to do. I do believe there are many people who feel the same way. You're not alone. Hang in there. This capitalistic animal is going to die soon anyway. ;)

Love you all!


  1. I hope you feel better soon.
    Maybe the new year will bring you reasons to be happy!


  2. I got your back, dear...

  3. I kinda know how you feel, maybe not as bad, but I'm pretty miserable right now. Just kinda feel like I'm alone at the moment. But hey nevermind.

    Hopefully next year will be better for you hun xx

    Kelly @

  4. I understand you. This is my second year I'm going to spend at home and going to bed early, inspite of contradiction of all my friend. New year just doesn't mean anything to me.

  5. Just to cheer you up, the sweetest song in the world!!

  6. =( This post didn't bring me down so much as want to find some way to bring you up - I have had many New Year's that just plain sucked balls, some of the worst memories I have are from New Year's Eve or day. One of the things I'm actually happy about this year is that I'm in a good enough mood to enjoy it LOL.

    I know what you mean about wanting something to look forward to ... when it's hard to see anything changing. If I figure out the solution to that one myself, I'll let you know, but just remember that there are quite a few people who care about you, your followers, even if most of us are far away =) *hugs*

  7. Evil Angel (AKA missnono)December 31, 2009 at 8:08 PM

    I know sometimes it's hard to look forward and see anything good, happy or worth while, trust me I know! Try to write a list of positive thing that you want to happen and focus on those that YOU can make real.

    And to cheer you because I love you so much a really bad picture of me with no makeup and panties on my head......see how much I love you!

  8. happy NY my dear, I feel absolutely the same as you do! Fritz wishes you a nice celebration too! :)

  9. Would it be silly if i said you have us?! Your lovely followers. This time of the year is hard for me too... Some days i just don't know how to cope.
    My mother died 2 years ago just before Christmas and a dear friend died new years night.
    If it gets to be too much, talk to someone!
    The world is a better place with you in it, believe it. :)

  10. Thanks, LelaGordela. I'm sure I'll have some great moments in 2010...I just hate all the mumbo jumbo. =)

  11. ((((hugs)))) Thank you so much, Lisa! :*

  12. Know the feeling. Hopefully 2010 will be better for all of us. ;) Thanks for your support! :*

  13. I've done that before. :) Hope you get a nice rest. It's gonna be loud outside...

  14. AAAAAAAAAaaarg!!! I'm afraid of german singing animals. =))) LOL Really! It started with that frog... :D

    Thank you so much for trying to cheer me up! :***

  15. Oh, Colette! I'm so glad to hear your in a good mood. =) That makes me less miserable. I promise I'll be all better tomorrow. :) Thank you so much! (((hugs)))

  16. OMG! Woman, you're nuts! And peanuts, and brasilian nuts and walnuts... =)))) You know I love you too, right?! :****

  17. =) Woooohooo! At least it's going to end soon. Say hi to Fritz for me! :*

  18. So sorry to hear that. Well, I'm here for you, if that means anything. (((hugs))) Thank you, Antonea!

  19. Hang in there! 2009 was hard for a lot of us. I intend to sleep the New Year in, as I've done for many years. It's just another day, not really any more of a fresh start than today was...or the day before that, or the Tuesday before last. Pick your own day to celebrate a new beginning and then dive in with both feet! Hugs!

  20. You know what Elizabeth? It's all over here. =) It's 1AM. I survived. =)

  21. Deez Nailz ~ where the CANADIAN Bloggers at ?January 1, 2010 at 2:14 AM

    You have inspired me to try sooooooooo many different nail art related things and i have learned so much from you. I hope you keep your spirits up - and hope that seeing all these people commenting on your blog keeps you level.

    Lots of love sent your way!!!!!!!

    also I was Google-ing naturistics and your Emily bloody manicure came up - so think about this, somehow your nail art and blog post about 'Emily bloody nails' somehow got lodged into my subconscious, helping me to come up with my 'blood dripping manicure'....

    The sponging, I do is because I say it on your blog, as well as using tin foil to take off glitter, and even just any nail polish, I use tin foil all the time now when I take off nail polish.....

    I learned that from you

    simple - easy -

    I am better off with some of my nail related things are because of you.

    so thank you sooooooooooo much!

  22. In twenty-six years I've only had one New Year's Eve where I wasn't miserable. I'm unhappy all year round, but I always feel worse at New Year because I'm "supposed" to be happy like all the "normal people."

    I feel less alone when I read your blog, so I'd like to thank you for that. I hope things improve for you and you never feel like this again.

  23. Nihrida: I always hate the media thing that says the New Year is a new start! New Beginning! be happy! be thankful! I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I really don't feel like it either. I lost my DH in June of 2008 (he took his life all because of MONEY trouble), I lost my job in November of 2008 and now I have to live with my mother. I'm 53 years old, I've lost my home, my best friend in the whole world, and I just don't really feel thankful or happy about anything. I feel like I've gone back to being a child and living with *Mother* and she and I have always had a really tricky relationship. I don't feel like New Years day is different that any other day of the year.

    I know I should be thankful for my Mother, cause if it wasn't for her, I would probably be homeless, but I also pay a heavy price for it in battered self-esteem. Once in a while she will ask *What do you have to be depressed about?* !!!???

    Nihrida, during my morning blog reading, your blog has gotten to be the one I most look forward to. And I didn't tell you all of this to show you that someone might be in a worse situation than you are. I just wanted to tell you than someone can empathize with you. And please take your bitch pills if they help you. I have to take two different ones. Every day. And they do help me. I really wish I could talk with you in person cause you're a beautiful, loving person, I can tell.

    (((hugs)))-Marsha-heisey123 on nail board

  24. Really? :o I look at your nails and admire, admire, admire... I'm often even too ''shy'' to comment. =) Like on Scrangie's blog.

    This really means a lot to me! :**** Thank you!

  25. Holidays tend to bring the depression to the whole new level sometimes. Are you taking medications? You know, it's not normal to feel unhappy all the time. Go see your doctor and if you ever need someone to talk to ... I'm here. There's my email at the top. :***

  26. Marsha, you reminded me what an asshole I am. You know...we really should all be lucky. But that's not the way we were made. I don't want to make anyone (even myself) feel better by saying: ''There are people that are in worse situation...'' We all live for ourselves, we're born alone and we die alone. That's why it SHOULD matter how anyone feels. It really pains me to hear the things you had to go through. You're always so kind and you always cheer me up with your comments here. I never knew this could be happening in your life. I'm really sorry. If there's anything I can do, even just getting you that nail polish you like and can't get in US...just say it.
    Talking about your mother...if someone is your family, that doesn't make him/her your ''friend''. People who truly love you matter the most. And I care too! Don't forget that!
    It means so much to me, that you like to read my blog. I'll try to keep it on the positive side. =) Pills help. So I take them every day too.
    We're gonna make it, Marsha. Keep your head up. Someone in Slovenia thinks about you! :* ((((hugs))))

  27. I kinda know how you feel, hopefully 2010 will be better... (((hugs)))

  28. Oh Nihrida, that wasn't what I mean't to do! I guess I just wanted you to know that I have some idea of how you're feeling. Like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. But I got like this before, during the early 1990's due to job stress, and eventually a light did eventually show itself. I guess I'm still learning, though, that life is hard. Have you ever seen the Cher movie, *Moonstruck?* When Nicholas Gage takes her back to his apartment and tells her that *life ain't easy, it's hard, it breaks our heart, and we fall in love with the wrong people . . . etc.* Well, life really is like that. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it, even if you can't stand Cher. But I wasn't trying to make you feel like an asshole, please don't feel like one. I wish I were more like Miss Nono. That picture was hilarious!

    I hope you feel better!! Someone in the USA thinks about you too!!


  29. Better for all of us. ((((hugs)))) :*

  30. Oh, you silly. Don't feel bad about it. I think I saw that movie...but I guess it was ages ago, 'cause I can only remember it vaguely.
    Yeah, next time we'll all post pictures of us with underwear on our heads. You got it, Marsha! =)

  31. I'm there with ya. Depression sucks. You just gotta have hope and tell yourself tomorrow will be better, even though it might not. That's the only thing that keeps me going. Hope you get to feeling better!

  32. I already feel better. It's just the new year's eve that gets me going. Thank you, Arrianne! Hope you have a happy year.

  33. It's always a depressing time of the year. I have lots of things to be depressed about. I'm going to try and not let them get me down. I hope you can do that. I'd also love to drink some but I can't because of my medication. Have a better New Year!

  34. I know I'm terribly late with this comment, but I couldn't shut up anyway. My post on dec 31 isn't of the sunny kind, I feel with you and I probably feel like you!


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