I want to say something.
I got an e-mail today... it was a nice and supportive one and this is the part of it:
''I can't understand for the life of me why you are so down. First of all, you are gorgeous and it appears you have a loving boyfriend, friends, and family. Next, and most importantly, you have such an amazing gift for art''
I know what you're saying. Don't get me wrong: I'm really happy and thankful for everything that I have: support from my BF and family, my animals... I really am.
I heard this type of speach so many times - you can hear it almost every time a young and successful person commits a suicide. ''He/she was so young and beautiful and had money and...''
It's not my personal decision to feel this way. I fight it, but it's a tough opponent.
I'm not saying I'm suicidal. I'm just telling you all that I know how fortunate I am. But this has nothing to do with my condition. What do you think? Should a person have a ''good'' reason to be depressed (and I'm not talking about feeling blue; I'm talking about illness)?
Anyway. I was so tired yesterday, I forgot to take my meds. I had BAD dreams all night and woke up a total mess. There's nothing rational in this. Nothing poetic, nothing romantic. I just feel fucking bad!
That doesn't mean I'm gonna crawl in the corner and cry. I cried and then I wiped my tears and moved on. But the damn thing is still here. Anyone knows what I'm talking about?
I know this must be depressing to read, but please, just understand that it helps a bit if I talk about it.
And to lift your mood... HERE is the new Ray W. Johnson video. If you like cats, you should definitely check it out. =)
And a bonus for all my dedicated readers: I decided to give away the earrings and nail polish from the previous post. If you want it, just post your e-mail in the comment section. I'll notify the winner in the next few days. =)
Bonus photo: Crossed-Legs Chihuahua (could this be his Native American name? Like ''Sitting Bull'' =) What do you think, Andrea?
Thanks for looking!