Two days ago I found out that my BF was keeping something from me. For me, that's the same as lying. And I HATE when people lie to me. There's nothing worse...
The strange thing is... I was OK. I thanked him for calling me and hanged up. I didn't cry, I didn't feel extra bad. I was just kind of dissapointed. I believe that he's sorry and all that sh*t, but I just don't care right now. We'll figure it out.
...right now, I'm watching a television show and I got heart broken again. I don't think I'm capable of loving another human being. Not in a romantic kind of way. I feel like a psychopat.
I know my need for male attention (from certain persons) is huge. I want them to love me... just to not love them back. I did it a couple of times and I enjoyed it. But when I'm in love, that's just not it. I loose interest to quickly and I always want what I can't have. What the hell is wrong with me?!
Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted with being miserable. But it's taking it's toll. I can't take it anymore. I'd love to talk to someone, 'cause it's killing me.
The funny thing is: small part of me still believe there's a prince in shiny leather pants who's gonna save me. I've always been a dreamer.
I wanna watch Walk the Line and cry like a baby.
EDIT: If anyone know where I could get this movie from the video (with English subs), I'd be forever grateful. It looks like I could cry a river watching it.