Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Shrinks and Pills

As you know, I had my first appointment with my new shrink yesterday. It turned out that I got the same shrink as my father. =) It's a middle aged man, with an ill sense of humor (the doctor, not my dad...well, both are like that). XD

The new doctor is a total opposite of my previous psychiatrist and I also found out that he was her specialisation mentor. O.o World is small. I told him about the method she's using and he said that she's exaggerating with it. Well, duuh! Seating with her for 45 minutes and saying only a couple of words...that's just crazy. But what's also crazy was the appointment with him. It lasted for 10 minutes and most of the time it was just him talking. From one extreme to another...

It went well though. The first thing he said to me was: ''You don't look like you're wacked.'' I told him I'm not while laughing. I also found out that I'm perverted masochist. Because I like pain. =D Interesting...

I got new medications (one for my depression and one to help me with my nightmares). Look at my pretty new pills! I wonder if these are also bitter...

There's another thing I want to tell you. There's a slaughterhouse near our home and we drive by it almost every day. Yesterday I saw the cows that were standing in the line and I knew that they know what's going to happen to them. I can't even tell you how much pain that causes me. Their big innocent eyes, filled with fear. I used to pray for them and I rarely pray for myself. Now I'm gonna have another month without meat. It's not something that will save the animals or the world. It's just my way of saying that something must change.

Feel free to test your will and join me.

Thanks for looking!


  1. I know what you mean about those big eyes - we have cattle around here, and they have just "calved" - the babies are sooooo cute. The worst part is when they take the babies from the moms - the moms just bawl and moo looking for goes on for several days and nights....very sad . :(

    I went about 6 months without meat and totally organic- it was just for me, too....but I wasn't healthy - I was weary and grumpy...I don't know if I could do it again (not to mention, I gained 12 pounds UGH!), but I absolutely applaud you!

    So glad you appointment went well (it sounds) - I hope this is your new road to reclamation....loves.

    PS - is your wishlist up to date? I would love to send you a few polishes!
    Let me know!!


  2. I think every meat-eater should visit a dairy as well as a slaughterhouse atleast once in their life. The way we live our lives, with minced meat sold in nicely wrapped boxes and chicken served as chicken nuggets, no wonder we eat more and more meat. We have forgotten about what an animal is and that it's somebodys life and memory we are putting on a plate.

    Needlessly to say, I am a vegetarian as well. Used to be vegan but fell of the wagon when I encountered Ben & Jerry.

  3. No wonder you have problems with depression if you have to ride by a slaughterhouse every day! I couldn't handle it. I would seriously have to find another way to go. I very seldom eat much meat anymore anyway. I hope you have success with your new doctor.

  4. Oh... you"re one of the kindest people I know. That"s just horrible how cruel and indifferent people can be. Animals are our best friends - and we just keep treating them like this... all that causes me so much pain. How can a person ever be such a beast to kill a single living creature??? And for some people this is just their daily job routine.
    As for me, it"s really hard for me now to do without meat, but I"ll try, step by step. So far I"ve started living without leather and fur - and have already heard a lot of unpleasant things about my naiveness and childish behaviour. Well, it is their conscience that will sufer, not mine. So, I"m with you.

  5. awwww =( poor cows

  6. ~Elizabeth aka Lacquered LizardApril 14, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    GAH! I can't stand Psychiatrists...all they wanna do is prescribe something. I much prefer Psychologists who help you work through your shit and move on. I'm not anti-drug, just anti psychiatrist - the WORST doctors on the planet.
    I love meat, it's full of iron which aids in the chasing away of depression. I do NOT love the way we process our meat. The days of the native american (or any "primitive" people) honoring the source of the food and using every single part of that animal for something have gone by the wayside for the almighty dollah and how much can we make. The world is wasteful and a lot of it is because we are so detached from nature.
    I am always so amazed when people say something that shows they believe they are "above" nature and not a part of it. We are animals, are we not??
    We are too many though and in order to feed us, the process to bring food to table must be automated to some extent.
    If you give up meat, please take a daily vitamin! There is so much nutrition in meat and homo sapien is an omnivore so make sure you get your protein somehow.

  7. Skulda - http://skuldasclaws.blogspot.comApril 14, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Those pills look neat. I'd do a nail design of them. ;)
    When I can afford to go meatless for a period of time, I'll do it for the cows.

  8. somehow your new pills remind me of toxic bugs - the shape, the signal colors, the glint of the surface. but what i wanted to say:
    i hope they will help you!

    i do dream every night currently (well we all do, but i remember every single dream) - and many of these dreams are poor, so i know how disturbing it is. and how much energy loss it causes. :/

  9. I'll prey for the cows and you! I recently gave up all meat for Lent and it wasn't bad at all. The pills are pretty...did they inspire a new manicure for you?

  10. I hope your new Dr finds the right combination of therapy and meds to put you on the path to becoming whole again.

  11. Poor cows! It's such a shame, but I have to eat meat. I'm not a fan of beef other than brisket, but I have to have protein and tofu causes me to have stabbing pains in my side.

    I saw the PETA video "Meet your Meat" and it really is sad how all of the animals are treated. If you are squeamish whatsoever, I would not watch it if I were you.

  12. That's why my mom NEVER buys veal. Only beef (from adult animals). She also experienced that.

    I believe that you have to be really careful with this kind of diets. People are omnivores after all.

    P.S: My wishlist is always up to date! =D

  13. I agree with you. We should all know where/how we get our meat...

  14. =) You'd think that you'd get used to it. But I never did.

  15. Hoj, Nihrida.
    Sicer ne spremljam tvoje zgodbe od začetka, kljub vsemu pa me zanima: si kdaj pomislila, da bi poiskala psihoterapevta? Jaz si s psihiatrom nisem mogla preveč pomagati - razen tablet, kajpak. Zadnje leto hodim na ure psihoterapije in obiskujem psihoterapevtsko skupino. Meni precej pomaga. Da se človek izkašlja, kar ga muči, in razčiščuje vzroke ... Sicer pa mi je zelo všeč tvoj blog in mislim, da si prava umetnica. Pa še veliko veselje do mačk deliva :) :) Želim ti vse dobro in - optimizem velja, samo ne obupati. :) LP, Metropolis

  16. Thank you, Cristabella. I'm almost always kind when it comes to animals. But I can also be such a bit*h. =)
    I'm glad you're one of the sensitive people. The world needs more of us. =)

  17. It breaks my heart. But I still *nom nom* on the beef. I'm such a hypocrite!

  18. I agree with you about the Psychiatrists vs the Psychologists...but only in some cases.
    Yes, homo sapiens is the most vicious animal of them all.

  19. Feel free to use my pills as your nail art inspiration! =)

  20. Thanks, Aeryss! Bad dreams can really suck the energy right out of you.

  21. Thanks, Jackie! I don't think I'll be doing the pill inspired mani anytime soon. I'd have to be wasted to do that. =)

  22. I saw a lot of Peta videos. They usually make me cry, but we should all see it.

  23. Hey, Metropolis! Po pravici povedano, ne. Nikoli nisem pomislila, da bi šla k psihoterapevtu. Ne še. Mika me, da bi si poiskala nekoga, ki zdravi s pomočjo hipnoze, ampak vse ob svojem času. Nekomu pomaga ena metoda, drugemu pa druga... Bomo videli. Vseeno pa hvala za predlog!
    Brez skrbi - obupati pa še res ne mislim. Imam mucke, za katere moram poskrbeti ;)

  24. I hope your new meds and therapy are going to help you!!
    I don't agree that psychiatrists are the worst doctor. I had a v-e-r-y good one - and also a good psychotherapist.
    OK, so humans are generally omnivores, but is that because we have been socialized that way? I mean, if you look at our digestive systems (intestines, etc) they are closer to those of vegetarians.......

  25. aw, yay I was hoping you'd blog about your psych experience Ur therapist sounds a little off kilter. I like when therapists have unconventional approaches. About 2 summer ago, I had my first meeting with one & about 15mins into the sesh there was an earthquake not a major one but enough to rattle the windows & scare the living sh!t out of me. Instead of instructing me to duck under something or evacuating the building as others were doing... he stood there holding my hands asking me to share how the earthquake was making me feel !!!! I felt like I was gunna die & this quack was asking me to share it pfffft! Anywho, his weird therapy actually helped !!! I didn't super panic like other times.

    keep blogging!!! i look forward to reading.


  26. p.s. my DH's comes from a long line of Butchers & my parents are vegan :( I have a crisis of faith every time I visit their deli.

  27. Those are pretty pills. Mine are both boring and white and round...You little Masochist, you. Haha =)

  28. I was a vegetarian for years. Now I occasionally eat fish and I feel guilty about it. I don't think I'm "above" anything, I just don't see the point in eating meat when there are so many alternatives. I don't preach to anyone and respect others right to eat whatever they want.

    I hope your therapy helps. I have depression and have recently been prescribed Effexor and it seems to help so far. I've yet to see a psych but have been told to many times by my Dr. And I'm a masochist too, nothing wrong with that!!

  29. hey, i don't comment much but i wanted to thank you for your open and honest posting. i have battled depression for years and it is nice to feel like i am not alone.

  30. Hope your new medication does the trick....i had a bad flew the last couple days and i was thinking about the meat issue as well soooo many nice things to eat without meat. I always buy the expensive eggs because i feel sad for the caged chicken and i try to buy the better meat but sometimes it is so hard.... thanks for sharing your story that's the real beauty of blogging :)

  31. Yeah, it's wrong to say that all doctors are bad... Or all psychiatrists.
    Humans are omnivores, not because of our culture, but because of our teeth.

  32. People are different and that's why there have to be different methods, imo. Not everything will work for everyone. =)

  33. You're not alone! :*

  34. Thank you, Crystaliciousss!

  35. Jaz se pocasi odvajam mesa... trenutno je na vrsti kravje in ga prav ne morem vec..
    Vsakic, ko ga vidim se spomnim na tiste ocke, na tisti pogled.. na to da so krave zelo obcutljiva in nezna bitja...

    Kmalu sledijo se pujski in perjad...

    In tej psihiatri so eden bolj cuden od drugega... Sem imela eno, ki je bila celi cas tiho, mogoce kdaj rekla aha, mhmmm.... kdaj pa kdaj vprasala.. Nikoli mi pa ni povedala svojih zakljuckov, nikoli. Dobila sem tablete ker sem anksiozna, ampak so me naredile prevec lezerno, je*** se mi je za cel svet... pa smo nehali :))).

  36. LOL! Very true!

  37. =) A sva imeli mogoče isto osebo? V Celju?

  38. Glad you had your appointment, hope things start to brighten up a bit as the new ways kick in :)

    Wanted to comment about those cows: I remember driving home one night, MIDDLE of the night, stopping by at the gas station to have a break. Hubby went in to find a snack for us, I stayed in the car. Next to our car was an animal transport truck. I could hear the desperate mooing... And I felt so sick! They sounded so sad, so lost, in their windowless transportation. I don't know how far they'd travelled or how many of them were in the same (not spacious!) trailer, they knew very well it wasn't going to get better for them. It was so haunting to hear them in the blackest darkness! I was tired and all emotional, never before cried for an animal I didn't even have eye contact with, but that night I did.

    Needless to say I didn't eat the ham sandwich hubby brought to me when he finally got back to the car.

    Please post some recipies if you try out some delicious vegan foods during your meat-free month! You are and will be an inspiration for us :)


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