Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Rantastic

Another day, another sh*t. This time is totally different, but I can still smell it. I've said ''fu*k it'' too many times in the last couple of days. It already sounds like my new mantra.

Snow, health problems, extra chipped manicure and lack of everything that makes me feel better. I miss my cats. I miss being held and taken care of. I miss good times. Giving something up and getting nothing in return is not a good bargain, is it?

How do you know something is worth fighting for? How do you know it's time to give up and move on?

Any answers?

13 comments:

  1. if you're talking about a guy.. you know it's worth fighting for if he is putting in effort as well. if not, you know it's over and you need to start being selfish (in a healthy way). just think of it as life creating space for you to make yourself a better person... actually, you can treat ANY kind of loss the same way.

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  2. I don't think you ever know, but you feel it. Try to connect with inner self and you'll know. I know this sounds like hippie bullshit but really, what is the first thing you feel when you wake up? When your mind has cleared, what's still there? Go with that. I would.

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  3. well leaving croatia was the best thing which ever happened to me - we are still seeing lawyers and stuff but I hope for the best. Maybe moving to another place in Slovenia with a roommate and finding some little job to pay the rent would be uplifting and great for routine changing, you can still take your two pets with you and visit your family every week! just an idea what might make you feel better and you might meet some new great guy and more new people too! :)

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  4. I'd say it's time to move on (in the case of a relationship) when the other person is coming off like they don't give a crap when ur down or not feeling good, when they don't want to try and make the relationship better.. those are some signs it may be time to re think if u even want to keep fighting.

    That, and also asking urself why you want to continue to be with them in the first place, aside from being in love with them.
    SOmetimes all it takes is a good long talk to let out all the feelings and listen to the others side.

    Hugs.

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  5. I have learned over the years to follow my gut. If I can get everything cleared out of my head with a major distraction for a while, and then I think of the situation, does my gut instantly tell me one way or the other? If so, I follow it now.

    If you want some extra kitty love, feel free to come over here, mine will smother you with attention-hounding. And we'll take care of you, at least for a little while. And we can just play and play with nail polish. Hmm, in fact, that pretty much sounds like MY dream.

    Anyway, *hugs* to you. I hope you can figure out which direction to go, and feel better soon.

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  6. Sometimes is not easy to know we want to held up
    at that, even it make us unhappy but we keep on traying bealiving it will be a new day and things gonna be alright. I have the same feeling like u these days too.

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  7. Dear Sasha: I can certainly understand the lonely feelings. My DH had the best hugs in the world. I could have stayed in one all day. But I guess prettybottles is right; if he doesn't appear to be making an effort, it's probably time to move on. But you've had two bad losses this year (your cats and your BF) so at least give yourself permission to feel bad. I've said eff it plenty of times too. It's been going on 2 1/2 years now. But I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and listen!

    xoxoxo-Marsha

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  8. People are so complicated that I don't think there is one good answer for every situation. I don't entirely agree that you should give up even if he isn't putting in much or any effort, because it seems to me that we go through phases where for example, I might be putting in the most effort, and then for a time my husband is. It goes back and forth. You know him best and if there is something distracting him, or on his mind, that he has to work through which is making him a crap partner at this time. Maybe he might eventually bounce back at a later time, especially if you have gone through these ups and downs and phases in your relationship in the past.

    The one thing I really don't like is that I feel like he left you at the worst time, when you are hurting, frightened, and depressed. If there is a pattern where he is there for you during the good times but abandons you during the bad times, can't handle it, and doesn't want to deal with it. You need to run as far from him as you can get. That's not love. Love is there through the hardships as well as the fun.

    Only you know him. If it's not a pattern, and instead more of a coincidence that things weren't working out and got to the breaking point while so much other things were going on, you might want to give the relationship another chance.

    There is so much compromise in relationships, you have to give up some of your wants and even some parts of yourself to make it work, but he should be doing the same for you. A bad relationship is when you are giving up too much, giving up needs, and the things that have been important to you. That's when I have known it's over in past relationships, when his expectations meant that I was no longer myself and getting the things I need to be the person I am.

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  9. Hi sweety!

    Thank you for posting on my blog, I really liked what you said :)

    How are you feeling lately? I hope you feel better very soon because I miss your posts!

    You are very talented, you should keep that in mind when you feel down.

    Much love

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  10. Donna said it perfectly. I thought the same thing, what an a**hole for leaving you at the worst possible time. I had thought what a nice guy for staying with you even when you feel horrible. I'm not gonna repeat what Donna and everyone else has said already. You know what to do and what's right.

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  11. For me, I only know from life experience...from trying to hard to hang on for too long and learning after some reflecting on what happened where I could/should have done differently. Granted, it took a few times of making the same mistake before I "got it" but that's the only way I knew.
    I think we get hung up on having our lives in order and control and we forget to enjoy the ride of the real mess that it is! A song I often turn to when life has me upside down is: Incomplete by Alanis Morrisette. I hope you'll youtube it and give it a listen. It inspires me to be in the moment and find, as EA put it, my "Intrinsic Harmony"
    Hang in there, not to join in on the cliche' but, it really does get better.

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  12. The important thing is did he love you enough, treat you right, make you feel like you were his only one? Only you can know if he's worth fighting for. Ask yourself is he really worth it? If he's not you bet there's someone else out there for you. Your a beautiful women and darn sweet. You'll figure it all out.

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