Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Retro: Step by Step

Aren't old books great? My BF showed me this book from 1972 titled Discover a Lovelier You by Ann Craig. It's a book about beauty, make up, hair, diets ... and plastic surgery. I don't find it very informative, but it's been a great and mostly fun read.

There's a chapter about make up and ways to enhance your beauty. Of course there has to be a step by step tutorial. We all love that, don't we. =D

*coughs* See how you start fully clothed and end up naked? That will earn a lot of bonus points with your significant other. He might not even notice the make up, but just in case: here's how to put it on in just 10 steps. You won't need your glasses after this. Who wears them to bed anyway, right? :D

Step 1: Start with a clean face. And throw those glasses away. They're ugly as hell and you don't really need to see right now.

Step 2: Apply liquid foundation. Make sure it doesn't match your skintone. It has to be a couple of shades too light for your skin. (At least they didn't go with three shades too dark, gotta give them that.) Contour your nose with darker shade.

Step 3: Apply powder. Make funny faces while doing it. It's the key to success.

Step 4: Apply liquid eyeliner. Use the smallest mirror you can find.

Step 5: Apply glue to the false eyelashes. Stick your tongue out for better precision.

Step 6: Apply mascara. Try it on your tongue first, to see if the shade is right.

Step 7: Apply blush heavily.

Step 8: Apply lipstick. Use darker shade for your upper lip. Go completely out of your natural lip line. That will make them so much bigger without the plastic surgery.

Step 9: Comb your hair piece.

Step 10: Attach your hair piece.

Between all of those steps, you should have remembered to apply eyeshadow as well. If you didn't then you're a hopeless case and no make up will help you anyway.

P. S.: Don't forget to shave before applying make up!

It's a nice tutorial, not? I hope you've realized I changed it a bit. ;)

Thanks for looking!


  1. Hehe! Mislim, da ima to knjigo moja mama še vedno nekje...

  2. LOL, so funny! Hahah. Nice post :D

  3. Mwahaha this is just too funny! I have to admit I forgot to lick my mascara, maybe that's why I don't look like I have falsies on. Thanks for posting this, totally made me laugh

  4. AHAHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHhahahahhahahahahahahahah this is awesome. I love how sarcastic you are :D :D and that book is just wrong, on so may levels I can't even start to explain it. xD (although they got one thing right, she DOES look like a porn star...)

  5. @Nathaniel: The book isn't wrong, it's just old. They don't say you'll look like a porn star, that's my addition. =D

  6. Hahaha, I love your additions and interpretations :)

  7. omg, zakon, hočem to knjigo :D

  8. Hahahahaha zdajle sem se pa nasmejala :D dobri komentarji :D:D

  9. really well done... should try it RIGHT NOW!! haha)))

  10. Funny how so many old makeup & makeover books look so weird now. Thankfully we keep improving upon ourselves. What the hell were they thinking with the shaving creme? Plain weird.

  11. Ahahah I love the last picture, it's soooo funny! :)

  12. Thank you for the laugh! That was awesome!

  13. aaa, jst mam tud to knjigo! prou teh fotk se spomnem, nikol mi ni blo jasno, kako lohk rata iz tok plain tok huda :D

  14. Nice tips, I will try! Ahahaha!!

  15. This made me LOL IRL. Just insane!

  16. huhuhu, we don't often see funny tutorials like this one ;) !!


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