Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Retro: Step by Step

Aren't old books great? My BF showed me this book from 1972 titled Discover a Lovelier You by Ann Craig. It's a book about beauty, make up, hair, diets ... and plastic surgery. I don't find it very informative, but it's been a great and mostly fun read.

There's a chapter about make up and ways to enhance your beauty. Of course there has to be a step by step tutorial. We all love that, don't we. =D


*coughs* See how you start fully clothed and end up naked? That will earn a lot of bonus points with your significant other. He might not even notice the make up, but just in case: here's how to put it on in just 10 steps. You won't need your glasses after this. Who wears them to bed anyway, right? :D


Step 1: Start with a clean face. And throw those glasses away. They're ugly as hell and you don't really need to see right now.

Step 2: Apply liquid foundation. Make sure it doesn't match your skintone. It has to be a couple of shades too light for your skin. (At least they didn't go with three shades too dark, gotta give them that.) Contour your nose with darker shade.

Step 3: Apply powder. Make funny faces while doing it. It's the key to success.

Step 4: Apply liquid eyeliner. Use the smallest mirror you can find.

Step 5: Apply glue to the false eyelashes. Stick your tongue out for better precision.

Step 6: Apply mascara. Try it on your tongue first, to see if the shade is right.


Step 7: Apply blush heavily.

Step 8: Apply lipstick. Use darker shade for your upper lip. Go completely out of your natural lip line. That will make them so much bigger without the plastic surgery.

Step 9: Comb your hair piece.

Step 10: Attach your hair piece.

Between all of those steps, you should have remembered to apply eyeshadow as well. If you didn't then you're a hopeless case and no make up will help you anyway.


P. S.: Don't forget to shave before applying make up!

It's a nice tutorial, not? I hope you've realized I changed it a bit. ;)

Thanks for looking!

22 comments:

  1. Hehe! Mislim, da ima to knjigo moja mama še vedno nekje...

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  2. LOL, so funny! Hahah. Nice post :D

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  3. Mwahaha this is just too funny! I have to admit I forgot to lick my mascara, maybe that's why I don't look like I have falsies on. Thanks for posting this, totally made me laugh

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  4. AHAHHAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHhahahahhahahahahahahahah this is awesome. I love how sarcastic you are :D :D and that book is just wrong, on so may levels I can't even start to explain it. xD (although they got one thing right, she DOES look like a porn star...)

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  5. @Nathaniel: The book isn't wrong, it's just old. They don't say you'll look like a porn star, that's my addition. =D

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  6. Hahaha, I love your additions and interpretations :)

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  7. omg, zakon, hočem to knjigo :D

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  8. Hahahahaha zdajle sem se pa nasmejala :D dobri komentarji :D:D

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  9. really well done... should try it RIGHT NOW!! haha)))

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  10. Funny how so many old makeup & makeover books look so weird now. Thankfully we keep improving upon ourselves. What the hell were they thinking with the shaving creme? Plain weird.

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  11. Ahahah I love the last picture, it's soooo funny! :)

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  12. Thank you for the laugh! That was awesome!

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  13. aaa, jst mam tud to knjigo! prou teh fotk se spomnem, nikol mi ni blo jasno, kako lohk rata iz tok plain tok huda :D

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  14. Nice tips, I will try! Ahahaha!!

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  15. This made me LOL IRL. Just insane!

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  16. huhuhu, we don't often see funny tutorials like this one ;) !!

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