I feel like I have to write something, although it's still so hard for me to find the right words. It's been a week ... but that's nothing compared to 10 years we've spent with him. Car wasn't just a pet or a dog. He was our family member. He's been with us at all times. He slept in my mother's bed, he sat beside me when I ate, he gave me a kiss everytime I came home... and the house is so empty without him.
I don't know if I told you about the attack he had a couple of months ago. He looked like he was gonna faint and my mother and I took him to the vet immediately. He got a shot and some pills. The attack occured again this year and after we took him to the vet one more time, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. He got pills, but they didn't help. I went to the vet once more, telling him it must be something else (that was two weeks ago). He said the pills need a couple of days to start working and sent me home.
Car looked OK on Monday. He's been very playful and he ate like on any other day. I called the vet anyway, to schedule a heart exam. Just in case. But it was too late. Half an hour later, he became very weak and his heart stopped beating before we could make it to the vet. I was still sure there's something they can do. The word that came out of the vet's mouth broke my heart: ''Sorry.''
And so am I. I'm sorry I failed you, my little one. I'm sorry I settled with the 'epilepsy' diagnose when I knew something isn't right.
He was buried, wrapped in my blanket, alongside my beloved Gaia, Shiva and Puma. As soon as the snow is gone, we'll plant some roses there. Roses with thorns, just like he was.
P.S.: I'll be back on track as soon as possible...